Crimson Shadow
by Zelosfangurl
Summary: Lloyd musters up the courage to ask Kratos about his life. Kratos tells Lloyd his life story. Damn, I suck at summeries. This is my first Kratos fic. Please R&R! KratosxYuan,KratosxAnna. Slight shounen ai,warning to shounen ai haters.
1. Mother

It was on a very dusk evening when he came after me, Lloyd. I was on top of the unsteady rooftop of Dirk's watching the sun slowly descend from the sky when I saw him jump atop the rooftop, sweat glazed his forehead, his breath panting heavily. His deep, slightly enraged voice bellowed out, " Kratos, tell me…tell me about your life."

I stared at him quite surprised about what I had just heard him demand of me. I doubted very seriously that it was going to be an experience like a young boy asking his father what occurred in his boyhood, with Lloyd's naïve simplicity I had a strong feeling that this was going to be a thousand times harder than explaining to a normal child. His dark eyes searched me from head to toe.

" Alright," I agreed hesitantly, " but you must hear me throughout the whole story, understand."

He nodded, that same unmistakable thunder surging through his eyes as always. He sat down several feet away from me. I could tell that he was not comfortable with my presence. His eyes meet mine as if telling me that I should begin. I started my eyes not leaving his gaze, " It all began on the day I turned twenty-eight, you see my mother was not in good condition so I always cared for her. My father was deceased and my mother was always sickly in bed unable to walk a few steps without returning back into the safe helm of her lumpy cot, besides she barely even talked as it is. So I supported my poor mother through a job as a mercenary, one for highest paid government employment. I wasn't paid very much for all the work that I did but it was enough to get my mother through the rough curves of the unpredictable years to come and also myself through the harsh winters and blazing hot summers. As I was saying earlier, I returned to my house to see that my mother was attempting to get up again, stabilizing herself on the thin wooden post above her cheap stale bed. Her large emerald green eyes glanced up at me for a moment, a smile spreading between her translucent lips. Her body gave out on her that very moment, sending her thin bony figure plummeting to the wooden flooring; luckily I managed to catch her in time. ' You have to be more careful about getting up, mother.' I advised her, propping her back up on her mattress carefully. She glanced at me and said weakly, ' Kratos…I'm glad that you took time out of your day to come visit me." These words delighted me even though I was awful at showing it. " Someone needs to tend to you, mother." I answered, implying that father obviously could not. She giggled childishly, perhaps like a young schoolgirl, she looked beautiful when she smiled even though she now in her mid-forties, she still looked as if she were in her twenties, you could barely see the small strands of gray in her voluptuous wavy crimson hair and there was small wrinkles forming around her eyes but when that lovely smile creased across her face you could barely tell that they were there at all. Even though you could barely tell the signs of her age from her appearances, it still pained me to see that she was growing old and it was even more stressful to know the fact that she was dying, my beautiful youthful mother. ' Your Father,' she asked, her tone caring and sweet, ' he left a few months ago and if you see him again…will you please tell him to come visit me, it's lonely without him around.' I didn't want to tell her the horrible truth so I just reassured her, ' He should return shortly.' Mother had no idea that father died a while ago and frankly I wouldn't, no I couldn't break the news to her that her husband was dead, it would drive her insane. I have always taken more after my father than my mother, my dark eyes, which had no hint of emerald in them whatsoever, and my brood muscular build I also inherited from him. Sometimes I think that it upsets my mother, my appearance I mean, because sometimes when I used to come in from my daily shift at work, her face always would be filled with delight but than when she realized that I was not my father, she sighed softly and forced herself to smile sadly."

" I could not believe that in just merely two years that I would be thirty and I had still not married. I guess that I have never been able to uphold any romantic relationships because I had always had to care for mother because father was never home and now he would never return. I decided that night that I would take a long walk out in the shrouded wilderness, I couldn't bear to see mother so depressed. The forests back in the days when I was merely a mortal, the forests in Sylvarant I mean, they were more full and thick, there was not as much industrialization and pollution. Back then; you could actually see clearly through lakes unlike these days where the waters are violet. Anyway, I waited until mother was asleep and than I slipped out quietly into the darkness, I did not need to take any sort of lantern that night because that night the moon rose full and golden, as florescent the moon shone that night and the stars shimmered in the sky I had no need for one. That night the forest welcomed me into it's silent hearth as the wind brushed through my thick auburn hair. Every time that I would walk into a forest I would always feel all the massive weight that I was burdened with, lifted off of my shoulders immediately. That night I thought that I was alone in the wilderness but I was terribly wrong. I heard a leaf crackle from a distance and reached for my rapier in my belt buckle but I realized that I had not come into the forest armed. My pupils searched for the sign of another human being, but no one else was in sight. My feet crossed around in every other direction but still no sign of another life form. I was about to return back to mother's small cobblestone cavern but than I heard something. My head whipped around, and I saw a figure under the darkness of an oak tree. I couldn't see him very well but I saw his masculine figure molded in the shadows and one distinct feature, his gray eyes that studied me ever so curiously. 'Come out,' I shouted to him, ' who are you!' His eyes didn't leave mine and than his voice said softly, ' You will soon discover whom I am.' His voice seemed to fade away as figure slowly dissipated. For a while after that I tried to convince myself that what I saw was a mere figment of my imagination or perhaps a specter that some rumored about that would haunt you from the grave. I felt the hairs behind my neck stand up on end thinking of it but I shook it off quickly thinking to myself that it was nonsense. I creaked open the small wooden door quietly and saw to my surprise that mother was awake. I gasped silently to see overwhelming tears swell up in her delicate eyes, she was keeping her balance on the thin floral plaster of a wall."

" I was filled with a mixture of awe and slight embarrassment, embarrassment that a elementary school child would develop after lying. 'Mother,' my voice croaked, ' why are you crying?' A red film crusted over her usually bright abundant eyes as she cried, ' I woke up and you had left, it was so late and I was worried about you!' Guilt rang through my body. I hated when mother cried, when her face suddenly distorted hideously and a waterfall of tears rushed down her doll-like face. I hated it even more when I was the sole purpose of it even though she was unstable quite often. Why had I not stayed? I was so very afraid to see her mourn over father that I had to leave, leave her here all by herself. Tears streamed down her rosy cheeks and she finally lost hold of her balance on the wall and crashed into my arms. I gathered her weak limbs into my arms, my robust hands were caressing her cheeks in which her tears melted onto my hands, her face was a tepid warm temperature, she was like a candle, the wax was her sweet warm tears. I was making promises without saying words. I was telling her, _Mother I will never leave you again._

**A/N: This fanfiction takes place after the end of the game. Just to verify that. Please R&R.**


	2. Yuan

"The next morning I awoke from a thousand nightmares that I don't remember enduring but I knew that they had occurred. My eyes felt weary and heavy as I yawned loudly. I went into Mother's room to check on her and I discover that she was still a sleep. I pulled up a chair next to her bed and stared at her while she slept so peacefully and I realized that what she looked like when she was sleeping was completely the opposite then what she was awake, she seemed to be at true peace not a fake peace that she only pretended to endure. I brushed away a couple of crimson strands from her face and her blood red lips moved slightly, I hurdled back in my seat in surprise. After that I decided to I should return to work and it was a risk to try to desert her to return my occupation but I decided to do anyway. I silently whispered a farewell to her even though I doubted that she would hear it."

" That afternoon, I returned from a day as a mercenary, it was later than I usually return about between eight or nine I suppose. Since I was already late enough and mother would get upset again, I tried to rush home as quickly as my feet would carry me across the tremendous fields of green. I would have arrived there faster but then I sensed that same presence that was watching me last night, I stopped right in my tracks and muttered to him, ' Come out, unless you are wishing for death.' That day luckily I had my rapier in my possession, and my hand was clutched onto it tightly. There was no answered and I heard his footsteps tracing away from the area, but not to his knowledge did he know that I knew exactly where he was heading. You see my sense of hearing was very sensitive even before I joined Cruxis so I could hear his footsteps mounting through the thick grass. He was pretty fast for when I was chasing him though the fields all I could see was his odd colored silky hair lashing behind him rapidly. I finally caught up to him, since this was my opportunity I grabbed the handle for my rapier and thrust it into his lower abdomen sending him hurdling backwards onto a solid mound of fresh grass. I stealthily enclosed him, pinning his thin but muscular body down onto the field roughly. A gasp arose from my lips as I stared down at whom I had just captured. This man, he was the definition of pure beauty that he had never seen on a man, nonetheless a woman. This man's beauty outwitted even my mother's fragile beauty. His skin was pale, so pale that he looked as if he was a corpse arisen from a grave but it wasn't pale in a appalling or frightening way, it made his skin seemed smooth especially over his facial area. His pale hazel eyes I had seen staring at me that one night seemed to be full of vibrate color and his silky hair that was now thrashed into the ground which looked like silk that only royalty would wear amongst their finest accessories. His garments seemed to befit a highly respected knight that had just crowned as king. His face twisted stubbornly when he looked at me, his forehead bathed in hot sticky sweat. ' Very well done, Kratos Aurion,' his voice seemed to articulate richly, ' you have managed to catch up with my stealth, you're defiantly not bad for a mortal.' 'A mortal,' I questioned silently in my mind, 'what the hell is he?' My eyes searched him silently for the answers of all my questions that I dare not ask him. ' Why were you stalking me,' I demanded, trying to act as if I was furious, ' how do you know my name?' A smirk spread across his bloodless lips as he retorted sarcastically, ' I think you're sexy.' My face flushed slightly before I caught on to his sarcastic gesturing. ' My leader wants you to join us,' he spouted out bluntly, his clear eyes never leaving mine, ' my leader wishes for you to consider joining Cruxis.' 'Cruxis,' I questioned to myself again, ' what the hell is Cruxis?' He looked at my blank expression and read me like a book. ' Cruxis is a group that is going to regenerate this filthy realm,' he explained to me as clearly as he could, ' it is made up of Mithos, his sister Martel, and me, Yuan.' I asked him angrily, 'And why must I be next to join.' Yuan shrugged, ' I guess Mithos sees potential in you, how am I supposed to know.' ' So this _Mithos_ is your leader?' I asked more openly. ' I guess, since he founded Cruxis,' Yuan said thinking about this a little, ' yeah, you could address him as that.' I got off of him getting all that I needed at the moment out of him and told him, ' I decline, I'm too busy.' Yuan and I both stood up almost at the exact same moment, Yuan brushing himself off, and answering, ' Alright, I'll be taking my leave than.' Out of absolutely nowhere, wing sprung from his back. His wings fitted him as wings would fit an angel but they looked nothing of the monuments that I had seen before of angels in the stain glass of massive churches the lined the streets those days, they looked as if they were formed from pure crystal they complimented his beauty. They were not white though and they bore no feathers, they were mostly a tint of azure blue and light shade of pink. He smiled at me and then his wings lifted him from the ground, as he seemed to drift slowly through darkness of the night sky, his wings seeming to glow. It was like watching a bird take flight."

" I almost forgot all about Mother as I returned home, my mind infatuated with the thoughts of Yuan. I went up to the tiny oak door and knocked slowly upon it, no answer. I knocked again but this time the old door creaked open and I let myself in. My eyes widened my pupils' small the surprise that I saw seemed all too grave for anything that would happen in "_Kratos's_" life. Then it was that day I realized that that encounter with Yuan was anything but mere coincidence, my life was probably destined to end up like this. I saw our house was completely destroyed. Vases shattered, glass blanketed the ground from which I walked, but Mother was nowhere in sight. I checked in the kitchen and all the food was tossed onto the floor and chunks of food was gluttony eat and thrown with the rest of the scattered tile and silverware. My heart was pounding faster than my head was spinning, pounding against my chest. I knew where she was but I didn't want to know. I ran into mother's quarters and burst through the door to see her body sprawled out upon floor. It was a grotesque image, mother's fresh white night gown was sullied with the crimson blood that complemented her dark amber hair and the wound was sloppily dug into her heart. I was in complete shock from what I was seeing, I knelt down next to her limp body, her eyes were gorged open widely, veins galore popped out through them and a bloodless lipped smile spread through her lips. My face distorted in a sorrow that I had never endured before, a never-ending stream of tears trailed down my face. The pearls that mother had always worn wear torn from her neck and the ripe loafs of her ears were ripped out. I peered over at a thief who was scrounging through mother's jewelry box and instantly ripped out a dagger that was wedged into mother's heart, and let the heated blood spill out. ' Are you the one that did this?' I hissed at him, clutching the dagger in my left hand. He turned around and screamed when he spotted me, dropped a few of her pearls and emeralds onto the ground, shouting violently waving around a puny kitchen knife, ' Get away from me, I didn't do it!' He could see right through my dark eyes, that psychotic glare of a serial killer; he knew that he was going to die. I knew quite well that he wasn't the killer but my body moved it seemed almost entirely on it's own, he was just merely at the wrong place at the wrong time. I licked my voluptuous white lips with my slender tongue, and my blade clashed with his body and I sliced through him and cut his body into ribbons like a mad man. I had never been so enraged yet so sorrowful at the exact same instant, I felt like my heart had completely died and only a lust for avenging her was left, burning with that and that only as a desire. I stared at what I had done, his organs were pulled out across the rugged carpeting that was already stained with mother's blood, his head was split open and only the fluids of his brain dripped down his face, into his bloodshot eyes and his slender legs and his scrawny arms were detached completely from his body and I toyed with his heart in my hand. A grim smile coveted my face and I crushed the thumping organ with only one of my hands."

" I placed my bloody hand gently over my Mother's widespread eyes and when her eyes were closed, it made her seem like the angel that I already knew that she was. I let the tears flow when I looked at her peaceful expression; it pained me that this was the last time that I would ever see her smile again. Maybe it was better this way, maybe she always had preferred to sleep eternally than live life the way that she had. I was horrified that out of all things that she was…_smiling_, maybe she had known that father was dead this whole time. Later I made her a grave out in our backyard, the flowers that she had planted so carefully in the soil had grown up nicely. I wasn't very rich so I searched around almost all of Sylvarant for the smoothest, most sturdiest stone and when I finally found it I carved her a gravestone and I put a vase of red roses, that were the delicate color of my mothers' stream of curly hair. I usually visited her grave at least ten times each day, praying to her and talking to her. Than one forsaken day when I was finished with my shift that day and I was knelt down beside her grave, I saw Yuan there his hand reaching out for mine and he said in the most angelic voice that I had ever heard from a _human_, " Are you ready?" I half smiled my hand conjoining with his, but little did I knew the hardships that were going to confront me, when I joined Cruxis."

_Sorry Mother that I wasn't able to keep my promise… but I'm moving on now._

**A/N: I know that Yuan isn't exactly in character but I did it on purpose because he's going to go through some major character development. **


	3. Angel or Devil?

"That was it, mother had perished and I had accepted Yuan's invitation. There was nothing more that restrained me from it, there was nothing else that bound me to this world, and I was truly _dead_. There was no on else that I loved and in return loved me. My black eyes stared blankly onto the sky, and Yuan looked upon me as if I were driven by madness, moonstruck probably. Instead of cringing though he actually smiled, a comforting smile that was quite different from any he had ever witnessed. As I said previously, I'm horrible at showing how I feel so instead of returning his smile or even his glance I just looked away and grunted softly under my breath, ' So where in the _hell_ do you plan on taking me?'"

" ' You act as if I'm going to kill you, Kratos,' he paused for a moment, still having that same obnoxious smirk spread across his lips and than he gestured for me to follow him and than muttered, 'Come' so I could barely hear it, but the fact was that I did but I didn't want to. I hesitated the heels of my boots digging into the moist soil, his head slightly tilted and I knew when his eyes met mine that there was no way of escaping, escaping his deadly beauty. ' _Trust me_.' His voice seemed to echo throughout the valley but it was only I that could hear it. My eyes shifted to the so not to look at him, not to see his reaction, his reaction that would overwhelm me with anger. Anger that can _only_ be activated by this mysterious stranger named Yuan. ' I…I will go,' I mumbled, ' but under only one circumstance.'"

" 'Hmmm?' Yuan questioned waiting for my reply. ' Don't piss me off.' I grunted._ You obnoxious pretty boy._ He calmly laughed, a soft comforting laugh. His laugh was sensuous and silent, almost relaxing. ' All right then." he answered in a lax tone. That was all he said for a while but my muscles were tense, I didn't trust him, I didn't trust anyone anymore. I had lost faith in the world and all of its dominions and some how I had even lost faith in myself. I had nothing to live for anymore. My mother was all that compelled me to stay bound to the world from which I lived and now even she had perished from this Hell they called Sylvarant."

" We finally reached this destination of his and it was a path of spiraling steps that rendered me speechless at first. They weren't connected to anything they just merely floated. Yuan just paced up them casually and beckoned for me to follow. I stepped on the first one…slowly, carefully and finally after a while I caught the hang of things as I practically chased Yuan up the stairs. What did I ever do to deserve this? When we finally reached the top we walked into a room that was made completely of marble, lavender marble. There was a hilt of marble bursting from the floor and than I saw something that would change my life forever."

Kratos took in a breath of air and than looked at Lloyd, an unusually emotional smile creeping over his blood red lips.

" It was a Cruxis crystal?" Lloyd questioned, his hands crossed in front of his face. Kratos could see that he was trying to take all of this in, he was actually _trying_ to understand his complex life style.

" Do you wish for me to continue?" Kratos asked all of the emotion draining from his face once more. Lloyd stared at him for a moment and silently answered, "_Yes_."

His voice became solid and mechanical again as he started, his large brown eyes seeking Lloyd's face, " Indeed it was a Cruxis crystal but at that time I had no idea what it was or what it could do. I did not see it as a Cruxis crystal but a crimson jewel encased in gold. I stared at it for a while and than reached out to touch it and feel it. I was drawn to it like I was drawn to no other object, it was beckoning me, calling out to my broken soul. Yuan snatched my wrist from it, my head snapped back at him, I was glaring at him for keeping me from it. ' Are you sure you want it, Kratos?' Yuan asked. ' Yes, please allow me to have it.' I basically begged.

' Do you know what it is capable of,' Yuan barked, ' do you know what it could do to you.' ' No,' I retorted foolishly, ' but I am prepared.' ' It is called a Cruxis crystal,' Yuan began, ' it grants you the power of immortality, we are stronger and stealthier than most human beings, more intellectual than you mortals." Yuan's beautiful contra positive wings sprouted out again, as a demonstration. He stared at me with a stern expression, his eyes were glazed with a watery substance and he muttered, ' _This_ is what you will become.'"

"'An _angel_,' I answered, cocking my head slightly to the side, " is that what I will become." How could I have been so foolish? '_Angels_,' he questioned mockingly, a laugh emitting from him, ' is that what you think _we_ are?' I nodded, trembling with unbearable excitement. ' You are still _so_ very young,' Yuan laughed spinning around merrily, ' and _so_ very naïve as well.' I still stared at him with awe, his perfect magnificence and his angelic grace. ' But if you have decided that this is the life you would like to behold than so be it," Yuan continued, ' I will not stop you.' The anticipation was eating at me little by little, it had almost consumed me by this point. ' Do it,' I shouted, ' do it now!'"

" He took in a deep breath and grabbed my arm, almost yanking it out of its socket. I could feel his warm blood pumped with anger as he did this. He grabbed the Cruxis crystal quickly and jammed it into right hand. I screamed out in pain, the dark blood seeping down from my punctured wound. There was another pain that was growing rapidly in the pit of my stomach, I felt my whole body convulsing with the sudden changes in my body and I could feel every change. Another scream came from my mouth as my azure wings sprouted from my back. All of my body couldn't withstand this pressure, I looked up at Yuan who had his head turned away from me in either sorrow or disgust."

" Everything was happening too fast, a vast amount blood was ejecting from my mouth and wet tears were streaming down my face, tears of pain that I couldn't control. My emotions were out of control and the pain was unbearable. I could feel the pressure of my blood going higher and higher to the point that my breath was getting short and I felt as if I couldn't breath as if I were drowning. My vision was getting really blurry and my senses were failing me. After a few minutes of torture my whole body gave out and everything went black."

" When I was unconscious I saw a vision. It was Yuan, I was sure it was him, he was on the ground all battered and bruised like a fallen solider or a squashed insect. He was dying and it was horrible to see his silky hair matted and his delicate pale skin bruised. He tried to move, but really he was squirming on the ground helplessly, tears lapping in his eyes that were now covered with a reddish film. The rain was pouring down hard, pounding on his back pushing him back down on the ground when he attempted to crawl. Half of his face was buried in a pile of wet mud and blood was trickling down from his forehead and his small mouth that was trying to talk but was too weak to do even that. A shadow loomed over his shattered bones and Yuan than gasped weakly crying out in a tone that I had to struggle to listen to, '_Mit…hos_.'"

**A/N: Thank you for reading my fanfiction thus far, please be honest and tell me what you think of it. R&R.**


	4. Love or Lust?

" I woke up the next night, about 8:00 pm no later in a soft mattress, I was not used to a mattress this soft since we could not afford one when I live with Mother. I felt a hand caressing my hand, a pale cold hand that made a shiver crawl down my spine when I saw it there. It belonged to no other than…Yuan! His skin was paler than I remember, the last I saw him his face was pumped full of life."

" 'Are you awake, Kratos?' he asked smoothly, almost lifelessly. I let my large brown eyes wander over to his figure. ' I guess that means _yes_ for you, eh Kratos,' he laughed weakly, ' you must still be weak from the transformation.' I tried to nod _yes_ but my whole body felt stiff, I tried to raise my arm but it was as solid as stone. My lips tried to mouth out the words I wanted so desperately to say to him but I couldn't do it. After an hour or so I finally was able to get up but whenever I was finally on my feet I could not say a word. I tried and tried, I was screaming inside of my head. Yuan chuckled a little, breaking out of that trance that plagued him a minute ago. ' Kratos, don't worry you're _not_ mute,' Yuan explained carefully, flipping the azure silk over his shoulder, ' you won't be able to talk for while but it's natural, we all have to endure it.' _Natural! There's nothing "natural" about this at all _He began to chuckle a little again at my fidgeting, but now he was coughing up a vast amount of blood onto his hands."

" Truth be told I was worried about him, about his health, about what was to become of him. He could tell that I was worried by my facial expressions and he tried to say things like; ' Don't worry I'm perfectly fine.' or ' This happens on a normal basis; nothing to concern yourself about.' I didn't hear a word that he said but merely studied him, his nervous gestures followed by a few fake laughs that even an infant wouldn't believe. The truth was that I _did_ absolutely **_hate _**him with every fiber of my living being but with every fiber of my being I also loved him."

" I was attracted to his angelic appearance, the human but at all the same time inhuman sound of his voice ringing in my ears, and his snobbish attitude towards me. The precise movements that his lips formed to when he talked, his precise articulation in his words. I loved him as much as I hated him and I was now aware of that. A crimson red stream of blood trickled down his heavenly white skin and I knew then that I was certainly not one to resist temptation."

Lloyd's brow creased, he was shivering not knowing what to say or what to do, finally as Kratos still continued to eye him, he chocked, " Fath...Kratos…yo…u…are you…are you…"

" Am I homosexual?" Kratos finished for him. Lloyd nodded not getting the words to say in that moment even if the answer was merely "_yes_".

" No," Kratos said bluntly, " I am not."

" Than…why?" Lloyd asked completely stunned.

" He was my first love," Kratos said in that mechanical voice again, " I had known no one else that I was really attracted to until I met him, he was the first one I felt romantic feelings towards, he had taught me to love again after my Mother had perished."

" Kratos…please continue." Lloyd beckoned to him.

" Yes as I was saying earlier," Kratos continued in emotionless tone, " as the blood trickled from his red lips I had felt an unquestionable reasoning in my head, I needed him and at that moment I desired him more than ever. You could say that my body moved entirely on instinct. He was about to wipe the blood onto his dry hand, I wanted shout for him not to but at that time I couldn't speak. I couldn't speak so I used physical notions to show how I felt. I roughly snatched his wrist from his angelic complexion and I softly licked the blood from his mouth, lapping up all the fresh blood so that it would no longer stain his beautiful face."

" Afterwards, I stared directly into his eyes and mouthed _I love you_. His face was completely awe stricken, his eyes were shot open in surprise studying my face but he couldn't read me, no one could and at that moment I didn't even understand myself. His mouth was half opened and his lips were stuttering steadily. He looked so innocent in that moment even though I was sure he was **_defiantly_** not. He had appeared to me like he had in my vision. His eye brows were knitted together and he was just so…delicious right then."

" I was so blindly in love with him in that moment I don't think that anything would have kept me from him. It didn't matter know that we were members of the same sex and that he probably didn't harbor the same feelings for me the feelings I felt so passionately for him. My head that was already curved to the side was now advancing forward towards his curved red lips that I loved so dearly. My lips met his and I felt a pleasure that I had never felt in my life when I lived with my mother. My tongue arched in between his sealed lips and he fought to resist me but luckily even though I was still dazed from my transformation I had a stronger build than he had. My first kiss, was it love or lust? I still to this day do not know.

" My hand restrained his fidgeting arm and I thrust him down to the slick beige tile where I released his lips, giving him a chance to breath. My pink lips were now a bright red as I just was dying to see Yuan's reaction. I could feel his heart pumping against my chest, his frantic breathing aroused me. Yuan face was flustered and he was just staring at me as if I was a criminal, he was telling me without saying anything, " Kratos, you fiend." It just provoked me to see him like that, I wanted to hopelessly make-out with him, to force myself onto him before he could say anything to ruin it. My lips ventured downwards towards his again. I wanted to feel that satisfaction, that lust that I felt towards him again. I was defiantly new at this, seeing as before I became an angel I was a twenty-eight year old mortal who had never kissed a female acquaintance, or a male in that fact."

" My lips were almost to his, perhaps one inch from the tenderness of his wet lips. Right before I could have my way with him though a loud chocked cry echoed from Yuan's throat, ' Stop, Kratos!' I hesitated at first but than drew back, still on top of his firm muscular build. I tried to tell him how much I wanted him but I was still completely and thoroughly mute. ' I can't do this Kratos,' Yuan shouted, his throat clearing from the choke I heard a few seconds ago, ' I'm engaged to a woman that I am very much in **_love_** with.' These words pelted me like stone but what shattered my heart completely was that lifted up his frail hand to prove that he was indeed engaged to a woman, a ring that hand the two letters **YM** engraved upon it."

" My heart was completely shattered by this point, hate and resentment clouded my heart. I was inflamed with a rage that was equal to the undying passion I felt towards him. Oh how beautiful he still was even when anger consumed my soul I could not hate him and I doubt that I ever could. After all it wasn't his fault he didn't return my passionate feelings that consumed me like a raged fire. I slowly slid my weight off of his light fragile body and let him leave. He stormed out of the room angrily, his face pumping with emotion, his cape swirling behind him gracefully. I just stayed where I was, on the floor next to my exquisite draped bed set, leaning on the wooden paneled side and lolling my head back steadily as I resented what I had just done."

**A/N: 00**


End file.
